Tuesday, October 27, 2015

The Presence

I walked at an even, light pace. I was in no hurry. The wind was like ice to my skin and made my lungs feel like fire. ‘I should have worn a bigger jacket’ I thought to myself. The street light above me flickered once just as I walked under it. I looked up at it noticing the dozen gross bugs flying all around it, touching the light and bouncing off, touching the light and bouncing off. I heard a rustle behind me, startling me, and turned to look rather abruptly. What I saw when I turned around was only a few leaves blowing in the wind, leaving me to wonder where the noise came from. I picked up my pace now, wishing I was closer to home. I let my mind wonder onto Nick, that football player in my English class that asked me to help him with his essay tonight. That same football player that has lived a block away from me since we were seven. That same football player that has never noticed me before now. That same football player that couldn’t take his dreamy eyes away from mine tonight. I wondered if he would call.
I was so deep in a day dream about the boy that at first I didn’t notice the shadow on the side walk to the left of mine. Two shadows I said in my head. Then it hit me. I stopped dead in my tracks. Just then I felt pressure on my shoulder, like someone had placed their hand there. I squeezed my eyes closed and started walking faster and faster. I could feel a presence hanging over me. Like someone was following me, watching me. “I’m almost home” I thought to myself as I half walked, half jogged down the street. I swooped around the corner quickly and I was there. Home. I hurried down the brick path that lead to the front door. I opened the door immediately and slammed it behind me. I let out a quick breath. “I made it.” I said out loud.
 Lying awake in bed late that night, I felt a presence around me that let me know I wasn’t alone. It felt like eyes staring at me when I was in my empty room, that same feeling I got walking home earlier that night. It felt like something or someone was breathing down my neck.

The phone rang, and I thought to myself “It’s too late at night for Nick to be calling” but I let myself get excited anyway, hoping it was him. I shot up in my bed and reached over to my bed side table and grabbed my cell phone, it was from an unknown caller. I answered it and said ‘Hello’. The person on the other end of the line didn’t respond but I could hear their breathing, I knew someone was there. I said “Hello” again. Nothing, again. The breathing frightened me so I hung up the phone and sat very still in my bed for a few seconds. Just then there was a tap on my window. 

4 comments:

  1. This is AMAZING! I honestly felt really scared throughout this whole piece, and I felt like I was with the girl, transported into the story. Great work!

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  2. "The wind was like ice to my skin and made my lungs feel like fire." WOW. What a simile! This line gave me chills. Also, such truth in your first paragraph. Don't we all feel this way sometimes? At the end, you leave your readers hoping that it's Nick, the football player at your window and now some creeper or ghost person. Fantastic!

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  3. I love the suspense at the end... it really creeped me out. Also, your story has a real plot, which is something most scary pieces lack. Your character could be related to anyone and that makes it even scarier in my opinion. Awesome job!

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  4. I like the narrative about Nick you've nested in to your bigger story...I wonder if it's him tapping at the window? I think we've all had that feeling of someone behind us, someone there...

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